"Interdependence is a higher form of being than Independence". The adage came as quite a shock when my lecturer, Gerry McDaniel, uttered it. No, not because it was uttered by Gerry, I had already gotten over that shock. What was shocking was how fitting it was in my current situation and how it expressed perfectly what I had been experiencing for little over a month but was unable to explain.
He says his mother told him, hmm I wish my mum had told me that. See, having gotten pregnant at 16, I have been on a constant quest to gain and prove my independence. In relationships it has always been important to profess and maintain that I don't need anyone and remain independent of my parents and everyone else. This, in my mind being a mark of fulfilment, of being a higher being.
Recently, I have been engaged in a relationship in which fighting to prove my independence doesn't seem as compelling as I have stepped comfortably into the realm of what I can now identify as interdependence. Truly interdependence is a higher form of being, of being me without worrying about losing my "me-ness". Finding perfect comfort in being corrected or advised and assisted, being fully respected for my advice, support and suggestions by someone I respect equally, these I do believe are marks of interdependence. I have come to realize how empty success or victory can be without someone to share it with.
Independence which I once craved and praised now seems lonely in comparison to my new found interdependence. Achieving things and making strides on my own are great, don't get me wrong, but having someone to share the glory with, having someone to lean on, someone who leans on me in return is simply a greater, simply a higher state of being.
No comments:
Post a Comment